Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
