I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
