I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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