I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize