No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
