She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
