Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Bring me that man meat
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize