Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
