every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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