jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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