no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
These tits shall not be calmed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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