I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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