She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
