I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
