I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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