So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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