Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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