did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
