a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
