Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
