I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
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Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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