Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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