I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
