Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
