I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
