I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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