girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
