After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
