Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
