He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
