U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
