How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
