How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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