I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
