You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
