I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
