If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
