He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
