My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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