Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
