His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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