Three words: puerto rican gang bang
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
