I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
