If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
