Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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