I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
