He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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