This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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