so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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