There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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