The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Randomize
