You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
