I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize