so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
