Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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