I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
