I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
