I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
