So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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