Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
