Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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