We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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