too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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