the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
