So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In other news, I just burned my penis
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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