At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
