I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
