No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
