i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
