sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
