Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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